70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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