So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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