You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize