So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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