Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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