i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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