it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
