my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
