Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
