I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
