your thong is hanging out like whoa
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
