Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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