apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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