Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
