Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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