yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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