i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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