I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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