he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
