Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize