she was so not down for the gang bang
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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