you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
