So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
