I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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