Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
