Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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