I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
