Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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