i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
