What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
