Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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