Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
