I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
