Do vagina's smell?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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