everyone is single if you try hard enough
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
