i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
