They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
