Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
