so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
