; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
