Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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