I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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