giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
