So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
