I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
