Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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