Sponge bath it is.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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