omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
