How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she peed on how many people?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All I want is dick and wine.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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