I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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