i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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