Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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