I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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