I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
