I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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