He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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