That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
