So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
