So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
