its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
