She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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