Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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