he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
