Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
