Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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